Today's posts continue below...
.WAF L ( l ' ` F^sNˤA ntry (krny@uq߳F^sNˤA m =url http://www.gawker.com/ mime text/html hvrs data
Now that NYC has two free morning papers, we're expecting some bloody street entertainment on our commutes. (Good news for the papers: the cab fare increase + good weather = more folks on the streets and subways.) We're already starting to see nastiness between the paper distributors. More violence, please! A report:
At 34th and Park two pushers of the Metro paper had strategically placed themselves between that busy intersection and the entrance to the downtown 6 train at 33rd. Flustered AMNewYork slingers huddled at the bottom of the station's stairs, passing out their product to loyal customers and trying in vain to shove a second piece of crap into the hands of those poor souls who had already been accosted just moments before. Tensions appeared high.
Let the blood bath begin [Two-Twenty]
Artnet, covering the massively insane Picasso sale this week, offers what might be the best auction review ever. (An anonymous buyer coughed up $104.1 million dollars for a 1905 painting, making it the most expensive painting ever sold at auction.) Says Artnet's Stewart Waltzer:
Hey, Saddam Hussein used to have that kind of money lying around in an old vault. Is it worth $100 million? To whom? Meta-ethics aside, don't want to hear what could you do with the money, nice cottage, some time off, eradicate disease, redo the Bronx. That's what it cost. Sotheby's could probably auction off signed copies of the check.
Art Market Watch [Artnet]
· Billionaire investor George and his wife Susan Soros have finally officially separated. We're thinking there's one Eastern European model sporting Donald Trump's engagement ring who's kicking herself today. Too bad, too -- George has much better hair. And, like, a conscience. [NYP]
· Everyone seems to think that Beyonce and her galpal Jay-Z have gotten married. That's odd. [NYP]
· The Brad Pitt/Jennifer Aniston breakup rumors are now nearing the second stage: publicist denial. Aniston will accompany Pitt to the NYC premiere of Troy. Mmm... developing! [NYDN]
· Donald Trump hot for Rob Lowe's hotness. [NYDN, 4th item]
Yesterday was former NYT film critic Elvis Mitchell's last class at Harvard. He didn't bring cupcakes for the class -- he brought Bill Murray. Writes a student:
[more...]I'm auditing Elvis' Film Criticism class at Harvard (really less a class than an opportunity for Elvis to display his command of designer jackets and pop culture references). Instead of watching Bertolucci's The Conformist, as scheduled on the syllabus, we watched Quick Change... with director and star Bill Murray, apparently one of Elvis' buddies, joining us in person! I arrived late, and saw Elvis and Bill and the head teaching fellow leaving the building; after the (fairly horrible but entertaining) movie, we all sat around like the celebrity whores that we are for 20 minutes waiting for the three of them to get back from wherever they had gone. Seemed that wherever that was had involved lots of booze, since Bill seemed more than a little drunk...
Today's posts continue below...
What's going on at Soho House? There are sightings of a cranky Graydon Carter, hate mail from disgruntled members -- and we hear there are THOUSANDS OF GIANT AMAZONIAN BLOOD-SUCKING LEECHES in the rooftop pool. Okay, we made that part up. A Soho House member vents:
Soho House is whoring itself out to everyone these days. The whole 6th Floor -- which is supposed to be for members -- is closed tonight for a Working Title party. According to their web site they have a good relationship with Working Title, while the relationship with Soho House members is that we get fucked up the ass. What the fuck am I paying for? And I saw Graydon Carter arguing with two managers at lunch yesterday before walking out. All this and they expect me to renew my fucking membership?
· Is former New York editor Caroline Miller headed for TV Guide? [The Daily]
· Glenda Bailey, Harper's Bazaar editor, watches the tumbleweeds blow through her vacant offices. "Sixty percent of the staff at Harper's is gone," slightly exaggerates a departee. How odd -- she was such a pleasure to work for, we hear. [NYP]
· Ad Age media reporter Jon Fine and Mediabistro's feather-boa-loving Laurel Touby have gotten engaged. Even though she first thought he was a homo, now she's busy getting liquor sponsors for the wedding. I think there's a lesson here for all of us, but I'm unclear on what it is... [WWD]
Attention NYT culture editor Steve Erlanger! The applications are in, and I think we've found a replacement for movie critic Elvis Mitchell for your paper. That was easy!
We judged entries solely on the first sentence, because who reads beyond that anyway? Therefore, our winning entry is this review of the classic stoner film, "How High":
What would happen if every time you smoked cannabis your friend from the dead would come back from the grave and give you the answers to all the pressing exams in your life, if you're Method Man and Redman you would ace your THC's which one may be inclined to compare to the GED'S and go to Harvard in the fall where you could bring your unique lifestyle to the masses that only know the Ivy League way of life.
Best. First. Sentence. Ever! Congratulations. And please enjoy our honorable mentions after the jump.
[more...]I understand some of you are struggling with your applications for the New York Times movie critic job. Tell you what: we're happy to review, proofread, and offer suggestions for any essay samples you're planning to include when applying for the position. Please send yo' stuff to tips@gawker.com and the best will be featured here tomorrow. Kinda like a day-long running of all the Planet of the Apes movies at the Screening Room -- but with more profanity, I hope.
I'm not sure how we missed this mind-expanding article on hipster gardens in today's NYT. Oh right -- we haven't really been reading the paper. Too many words. But, according to one hepcat gardener, "I'm thinking about gardening as a radical political act."
Wow. Clap Clap Blog responds, "Of course you are. Me, I'm thinking about pooping my pants as a radical political act. It really threatens people's assumptions about hygene and resource redistribution and the sacridity of the body. You know." They also point out: "no one mentions the real reasons they started 'a hydroponic garden.'"
Hey kids! [Clap Clap]
The Blog Generation Takes Up Its Trowels [NYT]
Wanna watch a lot of movies for free? Do you have a few basic English skills? Are you prepared to face NYT style-guide insanity such as "the word 'launch' may only be used for rockets and missiles, not the introduction of magazines or books to the marketplace"? Are you not prone to stomping off the job like a big cranky baby when you don't get what you want? Enquire within!
[more...]1. Naomi Campbell wins her Daily Mirror invasion of privacy case.
2. Near riot ensues at Tribeca Film Fest screening of Jim Jarmusch film; pugilistic White Stripes frontman Jack White blamed because he's Jack White.
3. Former NYT film critic Elvis Mitchell says "I don't have any plans," threatens to stop reviewing films entirely.
4. American Media CEO and tabloid king David Pecker snags billboard at Broadway and 51st, directly across the street from competitor hachette Filipacchi.
5. Not safe for work: Actress Lindsay Lohan turns 18 on July 2, 2004: Why doesn't she get a cute countdown clock like the Olsen Twins?
Eurotrash takes on the what-men-want-in-bed pages from the latest Cosmo. It's not pretty:
"Use your scrunchie as a ring around my member."
This is New York. We don't wear scrunchies."In a cab, climb onto my lap (facing me), then stick your left leg over my shoulder and your right leg out the window. It's a little awkward, but it feels so good, we won't care."
Will we care a little bit more when we get arrested?
From the horse's mouth [Eurotrash]
· The mama of all urban planning mamas Jane Jacobs discusses "The Past, Present, and Future of Office Skyscrapers" this evening.
· Everyone's favoriteView cast-member, Joy Behar, hits the 92nd Street Y to talk about her brilliant and illustrious career.
· Not cool enough to get into the Tribeca Film Festival? Don't sweat it! You can settle for a bunch of amateurs at the Columbia University Film Festival. At least it'll be celebrity-free!
We hereby declare May 6th a City-wide holiday into perpetuity-- for today, New York is free from the horrible onus of the television spectacle called Friends. Celebration! In the year 2097, children will burn effigies of Ross and Rachel on the streets every May 6th. You'll see -- well, maybe you won't, you'll probably be dead by then, unless we work out this whole cryogenic thing soon.
Amusingly, NBC has been running late-night PSAs starring David Schwimmer, in which he claims that bullying is uncool and kids should be nice to each other. It just makes me want to pound his face in even more. Congratulations to all of us today! We survived Friends, the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to Manhattan.
Still More Friends Spoilers: From The Set [Defamer]
We're still not exactly sure what we're supposed to "free" Courtney from. Her obsessive need to display her breasts? Her thousands of dollars of arrears on her Manhattan apartment? Her outstanding bill at the Malama Salon in Hawaii? But, you know, we're down with it.
You should get one -- we're fairly certain Courtney's making Frances Bean screenprint these with her own tiny bloody fingers.
Free Courtney! [via LA.com]
We're almost totally over yesterday's Magazine Awards -- but c'mon, how often do you get to see people with no social skills, all dressed up and crammed tight up against their mortal enemies? Besides, you know, lunching at Lever House every day.
Today's wrapup in the Washington Post reflects the severe... how do you say? Ah, manliness of the awards.
Men's Health won the personal service award for articles related to cardiac health. The articles inspired an attack of heart-related punning by the judges, who cited the magazine's "defibrillating jolt of service journalism" and its "palpitating photography" while concluding that "this package doesn't miss a beat."
"Package"? Now we're talking! Our congrats to any women who might have accidentally won an award.
Esquire the Alpha Male of Magazines [WaPo]
· Vogue editor Anna Wintour's lover, Shelby Bryan, is, says a landlord, an illegal Chelsea subletter. When confronted in the lobby, Anna Wintour "was getting her mail from what was previously Frieda's mailbox, which she promptly body-slammed shut and then tried to disappear into the wall." [NYP]
· Heidi Klum's website, speaking from her new baby's first-person perspective (how postmodern!), announces "After having tasted the best nourishment in the world, I am very tired now and I just want to sleep." Has there been some kind of supermodel breast milk taste test, and we weren't informed? [NYDN]
· Blind items ahoy. [NYP]
· News from low society: Apprentice Nick Warnock to go to work for Gotham magazine. [NYP]
·If restaurant boy Rocco DiSpirito were an entree, he'd be sent back to the kitchen: the book's not selling, and he's headed to court. [NYP
Sightings are provided by readers; send yours to tips@gawker.com.
In this recently-lost-in-the-mess-of-my-inbox edition: Si Newhouse, Anna Wintour x2, Noah Wyle, one of the Barbers, Jon Bon Jovi, Mary Louise Parker, Jake Gyllenhaal, John Leguizamo, Stephon Marbury.
· I rode up the elevator at 4 Times Square with Si Newhouse and Anna Wintour. First time that happened to me. They talked about how bad the Stepford Wives remake is supposed to be, and Anna promised Si he'd get an invite to an upcoming memorial for Helmut
Newton in Paris.
· Yesterday's Magazine Awards were subdued because evidently the country is "at conflict." What the hell does everyone think this is, the Oscars? [David Carr]
· Photos of Martha Stewart, on the day she was denied a retrial, looking sly and happy at the Magazine Awards. [Rahav Segev]
· Michael Wolff, former New York columnist and current Vanity Fair houseboy, makes an endless rambling awards speech, in which he thanks everyone involved in the old days of NY mag and claims "I might have preferred a different prize, but this one's pretty good." Ah, gratitude in action. [Lloyd Grove]
Ah, summer is finally in the air. Exhausted and/or lazy magazine editors and staff reporters are stoked for four-day weekends of crashing in whomever's beach house they can find. The long drunken days of slapped-together service stories and poorly-edited copy are soon to come for them all... except, according to yesterday's memo, for the poor critters at New York magazine. Back to your cubicles! No Hamptons for you!
[more...]Rumor: What's-his-face with the fucked up name wasn't posting on Gawker today because he was out looking for a job. As one tipster put it: "Slow postings on Gawker Media sites are the real office equivalent (or so I remember) of wearing the out-of-place suit to work. Please tell me that you are just drunk during the day."
Rumor status: Untrue. They don't let you smoke at those magazine offices! And after all, the only thing Vanity Fair editor Graydon Carter and I have in common is our love of smoking at work. And I get to, and he doesn't! Hey hey! We now return to our server-impaired posting.
Oh! But, while I was gone, I heard they gave out some big-deal annual magazine awards or something? I wasn't there. Oh hey -- that's something else Graydon and I have in common!
Ben Silverman, biz columnist for the Post, reveals the sordid truth of what he's thinking as he interviews you by phone:
My deadline is really 6:30 PM, I just said 4:30 PM because I have Yankees ticket and want to have a few beers before the game.
I didn't realize [insert new Internet craze here] was so utterly boring. Please, tell me, how are you going to make money?
I'd rather just quote you as a "company spokesperson" because I've already forgotten your name and can't even tell if you're a man or woman now.
Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About the Media... [PR Fuel]
The Universal Review, that odd website where they review anything, takes on the Man in the Tollbooth at the Bedford Avenue L. Let's just say he gets an F:
Man, what an asshole. What is the reason for the people who sit in the booth in the subway station? WHAT IS THE REASON? I guess the primary reason for them is to watch out for terrorism. But the other reason is to help you out when everything is fucked up. At least it should be. Unfortunately, too many of these people seem to think that their main and most important job is to remind you that you are a foolish, terrible person who does not deserve to ride the subway in the first place.
The Man at the Token Booth at the Bedford Ave L [Universal Review]
Finally, concluding this four-part analysis of Quest mag's society list of 400: Sure, we all hate people, and are hated in turn. But by what measure can we judge the most hated, most obnoxious members of so-called high society (and perhaps of Manhattan in general)? Cross-referencing the Quest 400 with the New York Press's 2004 Most Loathsome New Yorker list, we find a slim, but certainly meaningful, collection of most-hated New York names:
Rudy Giuliani
Rupert Murdoch
Donald Trump
Diane Sawyer
Joan Rivers
Say you're one of the richest people in the world -- but still, you're getting snubbed on Park Avenue. Here's the 16 New Yorkers on the Forbes 500 list of richest folk who were snubbed from Quest magazine's high society list. Don't feel too bad -- they can afford to start their own club. Hell, they could buy Quest magazine and burn every back issue with their lunch money. (Mmm, please?)
[more...]Team Gawker Data, in its analysis of the Quest 400, wants to know who's really REALLY rich. Not satisfied with the "Quest 400" as a prop to stand on its own two Manolos, we have also cross-referenced the list with the Forbes 400 Wealthiest People in the U.S. Only 24 individuals, couples, or families make both cuts.
Team Gawker Data (Andrew Krucoff, Chris Gage, Alexis Swerdloff) took on its biggest project to date by sifting through the "in/out pornolalia of society names" listed on this year's Quest 400. Quest, for the uninitiated, is a society magazine obsessed with the epistemology of uptown clout: how can we tell what "high society" is?
One week (and two dead interns) later, we have analyzed enough buckets of data to fill the Central Park Reservoir and two Weinstein brothers. Our attempt to peel the upper crusts and categorize its many layers allows us to see what keeps that big wheel of fortune spinning.
Inside: our preliminary graphical report by "occupation" and sexual orientation, including pretty charts!
[more...], or AIM gawkbox
about, books, diary, entertainment, fashion, finance, hotspots, media, movies, music, print, realestate, remainders, shopping, tv, urges, utility, more
At 34th and Park two pushers of the Metro paper had strategically placed themselves between that busy intersection and the entrance to the downtown 6 train at 33rd. Flustered AMNewYork slingers huddled at the bottom of the station's stairs, passing out their product to loyal customers and trying in vain to shove a second piece of crap into the hands of those poor souls who had already been accosted just moments before. Tensions appeared high.
Let the blood bath begin [Two-Twenty]
]]>Hey, Saddam Hussein used to have that kind of money lying around in an old vault. Is it worth $100 million? To whom? Meta-ethics aside, don't want to hear what could you do with the money, nice cottage, some time off, eradicate disease, redo the Bronx. That's what it cost. Sotheby's could probably auction off signed copies of the check.
Art Market Watch [Artnet]
]]>]]>I'm auditing Elvis' Film Criticism class at Harvard (really less a class than an opportunity for Elvis to display his command of designer jackets and pop culture references). Instead of watching Bertolucci's The Conformist, as scheduled on the syllabus, we watched Quick Change... with director and star Bill Murray, apparently one of Elvis' buddies, joining us in person! I arrived late, and saw Elvis and Bill and the head teaching fellow leaving the building; after the (fairly horrible but entertaining) movie, we all sat around like the celebrity whores that we are for 20 minutes waiting for the three of them to get back from wherever they had gone. Seemed that wherever that was had involved lots of booze, since Bill seemed more than a little drunk...
... he diverted the response to every pseudo-serious question he was asked ("What draws you to certain roles?") into rambling stories about things like getting high with the Wutang Clan while filming Coffee and Cigarettes, and he put on a ridiculous bright yellow hat to impersonate Ron Howard. Bill was wry and hilarious and seemed like a really nice guy. He also made fun of film critics a lot... I think Elvis has better taste in movie star friends than in... girlfriends.
Writes another student:
]]>Bill Murray joked around with the class, which had around 100 people in the room, and then trotted out to have lunch with elvis and his teaching assistant while the movie played. they came back at around 3 (the class is 1-4pm) and murray answered questions from elvis and the crowd, was generally hilarious, etc.. after class ended, murray hung around outside and chatted with students, taking photos with some of them. elvis said he'd asked his friend bill to come from new york for the day. quite a last stand for the newly jobless critic, who told anyone who would listen that everything that had been written about him wasn't true, except that he'd left the new york times, and that he was mystified by all the attention.
Soho House is whoring itself out to everyone these days. The whole 6th Floor -- which is supposed to be for members -- is closed tonight for a Working Title party. According to their web site they have a good relationship with Working Title, while the relationship with Soho House members is that we get fucked up the ass. What the fuck am I paying for? And I saw Graydon Carter arguing with two managers at lunch yesterday before walking out. All this and they expect me to renew my fucking membership?]]>
We judged entries solely on the first sentence, because who reads beyond that anyway? Therefore, our winning entry is this review of the classic stoner film, "How High":
What would happen if every time you smoked cannabis your friend from the dead would come back from the grave and give you the answers to all the pressing exams in your life, if you're Method Man and Redman you would ace your THC's which one may be inclined to compare to the GED'S and go to Harvard in the fall where you could bring your unique lifestyle to the masses that only know the Ivy League way of life.
Best. First. Sentence. Ever! Congratulations. And please enjoy our honorable mentions after the jump.
]]> For the more academic-minded, there's this meditation:Though the golem is a legend that dates back to the 16th century, it has become a way for authors to investigate modern problems plaguing society.
Turn that paper in soon, sister! The semester's almost over! And for the haters in the house, a NYC literary agent takes on Travolta:
The second, and hopefully last, of John Travolta's Scientology passion plays, "Battlefield Earth," like "Phenomenon," is religious propaganda masquerading as science fiction. [Ed Note: Extra credit for this entrant's vigorous closing: "However, contrary to cult-hater reports, nothing about "Battlefield Earth" will draw weak-minded viewers into the open arms of the Church of Scientology. That would be like saying "Showgirls" was a recruitment tool for strip clubs.]
It wasn't? Finally, our Miss Congeniality award goes to this randy young fella:
I really couldn't help myself -- my hand was down inside my boxers before I knew it, and I was stroking to the sounds of my roomie banging some bitch he had picked up a frat party.
Not really a film review so much as... actual porn (pages and pages of it), but hey! Don't look gift porn in the mouth, that's what my parents always told me.
Thanks to everyone who applied for the NYT film critic job. Steve, let us know if you need any of these folks email addresses for preliminary interviews.
]]>Wow. Clap Clap Blog responds, "Of course you are. Me, I'm thinking about pooping my pants as a radical political act. It really threatens people's assumptions about hygene and resource redistribution and the sacridity of the body. You know." They also point out: "no one mentions the real reasons they started 'a hydroponic garden.'"
Hey kids! [Clap Clap]
The Blog Generation Takes Up Its Trowels [NYT]
To the staff:]]>Culture is looking for another film critic, who could come from inside or outside the paper. The job is cool, but also very demanding, with regular and unrelenting deadlines.
A candidate should love the movies, know something about them and their history, have a wide range of tastes and interests -- as wide as the range of films themselves -- and write boldly, with a mix of empathy, wit and critical self-confidence. We are looking also for someone who can write essays and critic's notebooks, can find themes and threads through the mass of movies out there, and can help us all decide what we really want to see.
Please contact me soon at erlanger@....
Steven Erlanger
Culture Editor
"Use your scrunchie as a ring around my member."
This is New York. We don't wear scrunchies."In a cab, climb onto my lap (facing me), then stick your left leg over my shoulder and your right leg out the window. It's a little awkward, but it feels so good, we won't care."
Will we care a little bit more when we get arrested?
From the horse's mouth [Eurotrash]
]]>Amusingly, NBC has been running late-night PSAs starring David Schwimmer, in which he claims that bullying is uncool and kids should be nice to each other. It just makes me want to pound his face in even more. Congratulations to all of us today! We survived Friends, the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to Manhattan.
Still More Friends Spoilers: From The Set [Defamer]
You should get one -- we're fairly certain Courtney's making Frances Bean screenprint these with her own tiny bloody fingers.
Free Courtney! [via LA.com]